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The Anklet

Oh how she loved surprises and those untimely gifts he gave her. It would light her face up every single time. She couldn’t wait to unravel his love that she held in her hands. With a wide grin on her face, she unwrapped it and opened the tiny little red box that smiled at her bright face.

“Oh! It’s beautiful!” She couldn’t keep her tears away from her. She took it out of the box and held it up with two fingers while the anklet dangled in front of her like she was trying to memorize every detail of it and then she put it back into box, “I’m going to wear it on some special day.” She said with a smile.

“No no no! You’re going to have to wear it now, and never take it off!” He said with an urgency in his voice that stirred the curiosity in her. “Why?!” She exclaimed, rather than questioning him, as soon as he finished.

“Because…” He paused to look into the eyes which demanded his attention everytime they talked. “Tell me, please”, the child in her wouldn’t let go without an answer. His eyes moved away as his lips widened and the blood ran to fill his cheeks. She held his hand captive in hers’ and demanded his eyes again, “please?”

“Because…”, he stretched the word, “it tinkles.”

“And so?” She voiced her thought.

“So… It would remind me of you. I remember how, the other day, I felt restless when I moved my arm in search of you on the bed.” He tried to explain himself

“But I was at home, baby! Where else would I go!” She inquired again.

“I know I know! But it’s not about that. It’s just… you know… I always want you there, even when I know that you are. I realised that when I was in that state of half sleep and I couldn’t find you on the bed. I grew restless. So, you see, when the next time that happens, I’ll know the sound of the tinklet and have a more peaceful sleep.” He tried to explain.

“And here I was thinking you bought me a gift to make me happy!” she said with a fake huff and turned her face away! He took the anklet from her hand and put it where it actually belonged; and kissed her cheek as he walked away into the kitchen, “Would you like to have some coffee, baby?”

“Ofcourse I would! But I’m still angry!” She smiled under her breath.


It was one of those bad dreams that always haunted him. His eyes opened wide for a second and then closed again, realizing that he was dreaming again. His eyes were closed now, his heart throbbing in his chest and breathing, faster. He burried his face into the pillow and ran his arm beside him on the bed in search of her when he suddenly heard the tinkle of the anklet. It made him smile again. “Katie” he almost moaned from his sleep and stretched his hand to his bedside table to pick up the frame that stood there. What better way to start the day than to see your love the first thing in the morning.

And then her voice echoed in his head, “You will always have a peaceful sleep, baby!”

He closed his eyes as a cat jumped on to the bed beside him; with an anklet around her neck! She purred as she burried herself into his pillow. “I know, love! We both miss mommy!” He said, as he moved his fingers on her head and stared at the anklet with teary eyes!

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Posted by on April 23, 2018 in short story, Uncategorized

 

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Alternate Lives

“I’m glad I went through all those miseries.”, he said half waiting for her to ask the reason.

“And why is that?”, she asked, just as he had predicted she would. She was a curious one; intelligent and fond of crazy theories just like him. He liked forming them, she liked listening to them; and they would have long discussions on concepts that may never exist; a whole world based on merely one single assumption. After such a long time, he had found her; someone he could be completely himself with.

“When I think about it, I’m glad I have you.”, he said and looked at her smiling through the corner of his eye. “Look, I have had so many choices over the years and I have taken so many decisions during the years that I have lived, right?”, he paused for her to understand, “And for every option that I had, my life could have been so different. So, for every single option that I left out, there would have a been a completely different life that I would have been living. A different life, if I did take the options that I left out.”, and his eyes stared at hers; begging them to understand what he was saying.

“Alternate way of living?”, she asked.

“Close.”, he smirked, “Alternate lives.”

She nodded. “So?”

“So what if, for every single combination of all the choices that you make in your entire life, there is a change in the life that you live. And what if every single one of these alternate lives is completely different from the other; and there can be unlimited combinations of choices, right?,” she nodded. “What if, for instance, this is the only combination of all the choices in my life for which I would have you in my life?”

“A coincidence then?”, she asked seriously thinking about it and glared at him through the spectacles that reflected her intelligence.

“Isn’t it?”

She merely nodded. So many thoughts going on inside her. What if he had never noticed her? What if he hadn’t told her that he had a crush on her? What if he hadn’t broken up with every single girl that he had ever been with in his entire lifetime? What if anyone of those relationships had worked out? What if everything hadn’t gone south in his life? How coincidental their love was. How coincidental this entire thing between them. How she would’ve meant nothing to him had it been for one different choice. The thoughts just wouldn’t stop. There is a downside to being intelligent. You just can’t stop thinking.

She slept with a heavy heart that night not knowing whether she should be grateful to fate or to be scared.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

And this time he did not go to that party which was on the night before his exams. He studied the entire night; and he did well.
He did not have to go into some crappy college; and this time, he went into a renowned one.

He boarded his usual train back home from college one day and as he was getting down, he stumbled into this beautiful girl who missed the train because of him. He kept apologizing, over and over again, and waited for the next train with her, to compensate for what he had mistakenly done.

She found it really sweet, he was in love with her beauty already too.

They fell in love.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

And this time he walked into a coffee shop with his friends; and they dared him to talk to the pretty girl who sat there with a book and a coffee on her table looking outside the glass window. A bunch of rich brats having fun; how typical.

He couldn’t just back off; so he went and stood right beside her table. He mumbled instead of talking and turned twice to look at his friends while standing and trying to talk to her. In a manner of joke, she gave him her number on the tissue she had on her table; just play a prank on those rich brats who had created a mess in the coffee shop.

He thanked her a million times over the phone that evening for not making him look like an idiot in front of his friends. The evening talks grew longer and the drifted through the nights. They slowly grew fond of each other.

They fell in love.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

And in this one; his first love had just broken up with him and he had no one to go to anymore. He was in tears and heartbroken and did not know what to do with his life anymore. He was devastated and alone.

His first love’s friend genuinely thought that he was a very nice guy and that he never deserved this. No one deserves to be heartbroken. Or maybe she just couldn’t bear to see anyone in pain. So she consoled him and told him that he would find the right girl and that maybe she wasn’t the one.

She was right. Her friend wasn’t the right girl. She was. It took them some time to realize it, but they eventually did.

They fell in love.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

For every choice that he made, there was an alternate life. Thousands of choices and thousands of lives; and he had her for himself in every single one of them. In every single one of them, they were together.

 
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Posted by on April 28, 2015 in short story

 

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Oh no! Not me!

Oh no! Not me!
I don’t feel bad that we broke up,
No, not even a little,
I don’t regret you leaving me,
No, Not even a bit!

No, I don’t sink myself in your thoughts,
No, I don’t do that.
And I don’t curse myself for letting go,
No, I cannot do that.
And I don’t treasure your memories,
No, I wouldn’t do that.

All I feel is, if I do, the futility,
Of the feelings,
Of meanings,
Of those lines,
That I write,
For you,
For us,
For the love,
So Disastrous.
Of the promises
That were made,
Of the love
That is dead.
Of the heart
That bled,
Tears,
Tears red.

And I don’t regret me being sad,
And then I think, I’m really glad,
The weakness is gone,
The insecurity,
There is no fantasy,
Just reality.

I don’t regret falling, nor the lips that I’ve tasted,
But I do regret, in a way, all the love that I’ve wasted.

 
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Posted by on August 18, 2014 in poetry

 

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Oh Clouds!

The clouds cry love,
For those who can’t cry,
For the ones who’ve shed,
Shed themselves dry.

And they cry, the clouds,
For the pain that they see,
For the emptiness; and
The pain they see in me.

The clouds soar above me,
Far, so far above I see,
Mocking me, reminding me,
Of you, so far, away from me.

And dark they turn, the clouds,
Resembling my heart,
For you and light are the same,
Exactly the same, apart.

You may go now, your way,
On your way, to those others,
Others who suffer of the same,
Others who chose to be lovers.

 
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Posted by on July 13, 2014 in poetry, Uncategorized

 

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Third

The suitcase in the back seat spoke for itself. The emptiness in the air was filled with the echoes of the memories of their time together. She stared outside through the transparency, at the beautiful lake that reflected the sun and appeared like diamonds. The two swans that floated among the diamonds reminded her of herself and him. The thought brought a smile on her face that overcame the excitement and fear of what she had started to do. He, on the other hand, was too mesmerised by the beauty that sat beside him to appreciate the beauty of nature like she did.

Her face has always haunted him, even in his dreams. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as the sun came in through the glass and made one part of her face golden and turned brown the strands of hair which were darker than the darkest of the nights. Even today, he was not sure of the day when he had started loving her.

His smile remained constant on his face, his eyes, constant on her. She always reminded him of the olden days, the day she had met him, the day she had talked to him for the very first time; the day they turned into good friends. Her face was the reminder of all the things she meant to him, his everything.

The car cruised the two away from the place, the cruel world, that they believed, will never understand love. She wanted to be happy and he had never the courage, or authority over himself to say no to her. They were madly in love. Ready to take any risk, do anything, take any step necessary for it. The lake had passed and she had returned to him. They smiled at each other and turned their eyes towards the road ahead, expecting something.

He went back to the thoughts that always occupied him, the thoughts that had always made him so mysterious; and her, so curious; and she had always asked him, but he never talked about it. They were running away, he was madly in love with her; she was in love too. She was with him, sitting right beside him, so close; it could have been perfect. It could have been so perfect.

He stopped the car. A man stood there, leaning back at a black sedan, restless, looking for something, waiting for something; someone. She got out of the car and he saw a bright smile light her face and at that moment, she glowed, like star does in a moonless dark sky. She hugged him.

It could have been so perfect; if only she loved him back the same.

How cruel it was of her, even with that child like innocent face and intention. How unknowingly cruel it was of her to ask him to help her with this. But she had never known his love for her, he had never expressed. He wasn’t very good at saying the right things at the right moments. He had always been afraid of losing that small place that he occupied in her heart as her best friend. She would miss him, for sure; but not like he would.

He got out and took out her suitcase from the back and stood with it in front of them with a smile on his face that contained the storm in his heart, that kept him from falling apart. But he was happy for her. The only reason why he was there, because she was happy.

She walked towards him for the final goodbye with tears in her eyes. He stood there waiting to hold her in his arms, regretting his every passing breath that brought nearer the time when she would finally leave. She came into his arms and he felt complete, for that one moment; and wished, that the moment may last for eternity, wished that he didn’t have to let her go.

“Don’t go”, he whispered his heart into her ears.
Her eyes widened. She seemed to understand the storm within him. In that one moment and two words, she understood him like she had never known him before. Such a stranger she had been, so naive about his feelings. Those silly talks, that never had a meaning before, the absence of his attention, his thoughtful mind, his beating heart, she understood every moment, every word that he had ever said to her. She felt something grow within her, a feeling that she didn’t completely understand. Her eyes burst into tears when she realized this. How different was his love for her. She regretted something, but what? The friendship? Their relationship? Her running away? She could not figure out.

She couldn’t gather the courage to let her arms unwind and face him. Everything between them had changed in this one moment. This one moment had challenged everything that they had had for 13 years now. She understood what he felt for her. She realized, what she felt for him. The feeling that had not come to her before this particular moment was now overwhelming her, drowning her; forcing her to do something that she now wanted to do, but could not. Maybe it was too late.

She gathered her courage, drew her back to herself and looked at his teary eyes. He repeated his words and then stopped. He realized what he had done. How difficult he had made this for her; how contradictory to the promises he made to himself. He closed his eyes and bent his head down. He knew her tears spoke of her love for him now. He knew she knew now, that he loves her. He knew she knew now, that she loves him.

The darkness seemed so comforting. The fear of her not being there when he opened his eyes occupied him. But the darkness resembled the uncertainty. He wasn’t rejected right now, he knew she was going away but there was this uncertainty of her staying back for him, holding his hand and giving him a kiss and going far far away with him; and that uncertainty gave him the happiness for which he could close his eyes to the world and stand there, forever. How comforting the darkness indeed was. Only the sound of the racing heartbeat throbbed in his head and gave him consolation, told him that he shall find her smiling at him with tears in her eyes as he opened his. He built up the courage and followed it.

How cruel is the heart too; how cruel, these fits of the romantic mind and heart, how cruel, hope.

He leaned back at his car and stared at the empty road ahead of him. The road that resembled the rest of his life. The road with traces of leaves that were dead now; the leaves that resembled his hopes.

 
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Posted by on January 20, 2014 in short story, Uncategorized

 

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Look

Natasha you think you’re hurt,
Natasha look at me!
Natasha look in my eyes.
Natasha what do you see?

You’ll see my smile,
You’ll see my tears,
You’ll see what my heart bears.
You’ll see my heart,
You’ll see my soul,
You’ll see in me, your entire world.
You’ll see my days,
You’ll see my nights,
You’ll see yourself, as my guiding light.
You’ll see my weakness,
You’ll see my might,
You’ll see in me, my every fight.
You’ll see the moon,
You’ll see the sun,
You’ll see you and me, together as one.

You’ll see the world Natasha, that you’ve always wished for.
You’ll see yourself Natasha, the one that I had fallen for.

 
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Posted by on December 5, 2013 in poetry, Uncategorized

 

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Forbidden

As she lay on the bed, wrapped in the sheets and his arms, staring at the wall, she moved in, closer and felt his heart beating on her back. The thought of her husband haunted her for a moment, the guilt built up within her bosom but it all vanished with the kiss that she felt on the back of her neck. She could never have too much of him. She was madly in love with him, so much that she did not think of what the world would say if they found out about it, if her husband found out about it. It was not infidelity for her, she was faithful to him, she was in love.

She was a beautiful woman in her late twenties, married at the age of 25 by the will of her parents. She could never fall in love with the man. They were married and had a perfect life, living in a big house with ample of money to spend, which was provided at the cost of the husband’s absence in the city, which had gradually resulted in the same in her life. She had soon gotten sick of her life and felt lonely with no children and no friends. She spent most of her time shopping and trying to buy happiness through the materialistic things for she knew that there was no scope of love in her life anymore. She spent her day staring outside the window from her well furnished bedroom, looking at the park in front of their house; looking at the children playing and occasionally went out to sit and talk with them and brought them presents. It was the only thing that made her happy. Their marriage was like a crystal that shined so brightly from the outside but was hollow within. Her life was monotonous.

He was a writer. A young writer, who had just stepped into the world of fame. With his first best seller, he had marked his existence and built up his reputation from the ashes. He had worked very hard and was beginning to enjoy the luxuries of his occupation. He was often approached by his female fans and he knew an opportunity when he saw one, and he never missed a single one of them. He was known for his fantasies; his interests, towards women and in variety of fields. What made him stood out though, was his experience. His mind was too mature for those his age; his writings had a kind of maturity which made it very hard for someone to believe that someone at his age could write something like this. One could hardly relate him to his works. One would expect the writer to be a more experienced person, aged, even in looks. But he had always felt a hollow that he felt will always be there, no matter how much he enjoyed his riches, or his fame or even his opportunities with the ladies. He was often seen standing alone in the darkness of the night, sitting by the lake, thinking to himself. He felt incomplete.

“Do you remember the first time we met?”, he asked.

She nodded with a smile and pushed herself towards him as he grasped her tighter into his arms.

She was in the park and he was staring at her, thinking to himself how beautiful she was, how perfectly her hair shined in the sun and how deep her eyes were. She stared back at him and felt him looking into her soul. She felt so weak and empty, and so vulnerable to his eyes. He felt how complete he would be with her and she felt it too but she had turned her eyes away and in no time, he sat beside her, introducing himself to her. It was the starting of a beautiful relationship that was more than friendship and they both knew it. He talked to her about his works, his ideas, his inspirations and what he wanted from life. She talked to him about her life, her marriage and what she wanted from life. They felt themselves to be perfect for each other.

The meetings became more frequent and she started escaping from her monotonous life and took temporary refuges in his life of creativity. It made her feel good. He made her feel good. She completed him. He wrote about her, he wrote about love and the feeling between them grew more and more intense until finally, they both gave up to the passion that drowned them both. There were no secrets between them, but the sense of right and wrong had been blinded in the light of love. They knew they could lose everything, but nothing mattered to them; they needed nothing else if they had each other.

A sense of guilt rose within her again. “It’s wrong”, she thought and she turned around to tell him that they had to stop seeing each other.

She stared at his face for a while and then said, “I think I should go now.”

“Will I see you tomorrow?”, he asked with the innocence of a child and longing of a lover in his eyes.

His face mesmerized her again. She could never say no to him. She could not live without him. He was where she always found peace. She loved him.

Her heart overcame her mind and all the reasons that she had given herself for her to stop seeing him seemed meaningless now.

“Yes!”, she said with a smile and got up from the bed wrapped in the sheet.

His eyes followed her as she dressed and left with kiss on his forehead.

He closed his eyes and lay there in his bed with her memories.

 
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Posted by on November 28, 2013 in short story

 

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