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Love Truly

A beautiful face with a golden complexion that literally shone in the sun. Hair that could defeat the darkness of the darkest of nights. A body that could be envied by the goddesses. She was perfect. “What do you buy someone who is that perfect?” he asked this middle aged man who stood on the other side of the counter. With a sleek figure, he stood almost in the perfect centre while his eyes ran a marathon across the showcases in the most expensive jewellery shop in the city; a place where one could find the rarest of stones, for the people who were closest to one. He was a decently earning man. Yet he had had to make his wishes wait because the wishes of the people you love always come before your own. “We’re about to close sir!” interrupted the person who had been waiting on him to choose that perfect gift for his perfect wife. “Can I have a few more moments?”, he requested with an expression that was hard to overlook or turn down. “Sure”, he had bought himself a few more moments, but the question remained, “What do you buy someone who is that….. ” there it was. A beautiful necklace that would be highly complimented by his wife’s neck, because nothing, according to him, could possibly compete with his wife’s beauty in his eyes or nearly represent the amount of love that he held in his heart for her. He was delighted, overwhelmed by this beautiful finding of his, that would make his dear Cassy, so happy. He could not keep himself from wanting to call her up and tell her that he’s got something special for her and that she should be ready for it. It had to be special. After all, it was their anniversary. How could he forget. He never did. She might at times because of all the work she had to look after at home and at her office but he, how could he. They had been in love for 2 years before finally getting married and it had been 2 more and oh! How happy he was with her. How he loved her. He just couldn’t think of a life without her.

He completed his transaction and rushed outside; jumped into his car, took out his phone and gave her a call. It rang till it got disconnected automatically. Working at an office isn’t an easy job after all. Why didn’t he think of it earlier! He could give her a surprise. Oh! How happy she would be and how she would blush. The red on her face would shine like the perfect apple from the garden of Eden. The engine roared and he drove off to see his beloved wife and the tyres screeched right before his house in excitement. He jumped off the car and ran to the door and suddenly stopped. All the excitement fading away including the smile from his face. How thoughts play with your emotions. He shrugged off all the negativity that had come upon him and gathered his smile back on his face again, took out a key from his trouser pocket and entered into the house yelling out her name, “Cassy! Cassy! Look what your baby’s got for you!” He heard a noise from his bedroom and shouted out again, “Baby?! Are you in the bedroom?” He heard the bedroom door shut as he was climbing the staircase that led to the section of the house where their bedroom stood with two other rooms out of which one was turned into a small office in which she would spend her time completing the works that she could not complete at the office. He stood right outside the bedroom door, his face white and furious and sad; holding the door knob he asked softly as if hoping to be wrong or wanting to avoid something, “Baby? Are you in there?”. He heard the nervous voice of his voice, “Baby I’m changing, Just 2 minutes.” His head bowed down he waited, as he heard noises coming out of the bedroom until finally the door opened and he saw her. How beautiful she was, how he loved her. She looked tired and out of breath. He took out the necklace out of his coat pocket and gave it to her. She opened it and hugged her out of joy. He held her in his arms, his whole world at once. That was when he saw a man’s watch on his bedside table and he closed his eyes as a tear rolled down his cheek. He wiped it off and asked her to get ready for the dinner. She went off with the necklace in her hand as he stared out the bedroom window that overlooked their backyard where he could see a silhouette of a man sneaking out. He stood there with his hands inside his trouser pockets and a heavy heart inside his chest. He just stood there without an expression, without a word or an action, staring out the window. He could not forget¬†happy he was with her. How much he loved her. He just couldn’t think of a life without her.

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Posted by on August 30, 2015 in short story

 

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Alternate Lives

“I’m glad I went through all those miseries.”, he said half waiting for her to ask the reason.

“And why is that?”, she asked, just as he had predicted she would. She was a curious one; intelligent and fond of crazy theories just like him. He liked forming them, she liked listening to them; and they would have long discussions on concepts that may never exist; a whole world based on merely one single assumption. After such a long time, he had found her; someone he could be completely himself with.

“When I think about it, I’m glad I have you.”, he said and looked at her smiling through the corner of his eye. “Look, I have had so many choices over the years and I have taken so many decisions during the years that I have lived, right?”, he paused for her to understand, “And for every option that I had, my life could have been so different. So, for every single option that I left out, there would have a been a completely different life that I would have been living. A different life, if I did take the options that I left out.”, and his eyes stared at hers; begging them to understand what he was saying.

“Alternate way of living?”, she asked.

“Close.”, he smirked, “Alternate lives.”

She nodded. “So?”

“So what if, for every single combination of all the choices that you make in your entire life, there is a change in the life that you live. And what if every single one of these alternate lives is completely different from the other; and there can be unlimited combinations of choices, right?,” she nodded. “What if, for instance, this is the only combination of all the choices in my life for which I would have you in my life?”

“A coincidence then?”, she asked seriously thinking about it and glared at him through the spectacles that reflected her intelligence.

“Isn’t it?”

She merely nodded. So many thoughts going on inside her. What if he had never noticed her? What if he hadn’t told her that he had a crush on her? What if he hadn’t broken up with every single girl that he had ever been with in his entire lifetime? What if anyone of those relationships had worked out? What if everything hadn’t gone south in his life? How coincidental their love was. How coincidental this entire thing between them. How she would’ve meant nothing to him had it been for one different choice. The thoughts just wouldn’t stop. There is a downside to being intelligent. You just can’t stop thinking.

She slept with a heavy heart that night not knowing whether she should be grateful to fate or to be scared.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

And this time he did not go to that party which was on the night before his exams. He studied the entire night; and he did well.
He did not have to go into some crappy college; and this time, he went into a renowned one.

He boarded his usual train back home from college one day and as he was getting down, he stumbled into this beautiful girl who missed the train because of him. He kept apologizing, over and over again, and waited for the next train with her, to compensate for what he had mistakenly done.

She found it really sweet, he was in love with her beauty already too.

They fell in love.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

And this time he walked into a coffee shop with his friends; and they dared him to talk to the pretty girl who sat there with a book and a coffee on her table looking outside the glass window. A bunch of rich brats having fun; how typical.

He couldn’t just back off; so he went and stood right beside her table. He mumbled instead of talking and turned twice to look at his friends while standing and trying to talk to her. In a manner of joke, she gave him her number on the tissue she had on her table; just play a prank on those rich brats who had created a mess in the coffee shop.

He thanked her a million times over the phone that evening for not making him look like an idiot in front of his friends. The evening talks grew longer and the drifted through the nights. They slowly grew fond of each other.

They fell in love.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

And in this one; his first love had just broken up with him and he had no one to go to anymore. He was in tears and heartbroken and did not know what to do with his life anymore. He was devastated and alone.

His first love’s friend genuinely thought that he was a very nice guy and that he never deserved this. No one deserves to be heartbroken. Or maybe she just couldn’t bear to see anyone in pain. So she consoled him and told him that he would find the right girl and that maybe she wasn’t the one.

She was right. Her friend wasn’t the right girl. She was. It took them some time to realize it, but they eventually did.

They fell in love.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………

For every choice that he made, there was an alternate life. Thousands of choices and thousands of lives; and he had her for himself in every single one of them. In every single one of them, they were together.

 
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Posted by on April 28, 2015 in short story

 

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Futility

The scarcity of the leaves on the branches of the trees, the setting of the sun, the falling of the beauty of nature in the form of the yellow leaves. How beautifully it resembles everything else that the mother nature has created, with just one single thing common to all of them, the end. The message is so subtly displayed every year, every day or maybe even in every passing moment, if we only look closer. Nothing lasts forever. Everything comes to an end. The day ends with a sunset, the year ends with the people celebrating it, even these small leaves that had once been so lively green change their colour to a dull orange and fall off, leaving behind them, the emptiness of their presence to be filled up by someone else.

“How futile?!”, he said, “Isn’t it love?”, without turning around.

Her face filled up at the sound of love. She loved him calling her that.
He turned a bit to take a look at her glamorous smile that lit her face like the bright sun in the clear sky.

“The beauty?” she asked.

“The life.”

“But that’s not what you’re upset about, are you?”

She always got to him better than anyone else. Specially to his other side. That side made her like him even more. She always preferred mysterious guys over the ones which had a shallow self. She thought she could relate to them. She wasn’t in love with him, but she was surely in love with his mysterious side. She had come across to him so much like the other girls he had met before. She loved tattoos, liked mysteries, did not like reading, talked about boys, liked going out and loved to look beautiful. The only two things that had come across as unusual to him about her were her smile, that was livelier than life itself, and the tattoos on her leg. One of which was a fish and the other was a word in some other language, which he had not asked the meaning of.

“Will I be forgotten?” he asked.

“You are upset because you think you will not be remembered?” she asked back.

“Yes.”

“Well that sounds a little selfish.”

“You can’t blame someone for thinking about himself.”

She didn’t answer. He stared at the life of the day ending with the setting of the sun. The sight made him restless. The thought grew deeper into him and got the better of him. He could not but think about how hard he had worked to be loved by the people, to be known by the world, to become a name; how he had given his life to it and how it will be taken away all at once by death.

“You got over him too, didn’t you? You’ve forgotten about him too, the person whom you once loved more than your own life.”

The mild smile from her face was taken away by the memories of her past.

“No”, she said without looking at his face. Her face reflected of the depth she had within her. He had never seen this side of her before. “I still do. I had fallen in love with him once and I might not be able to forget him ever. The memories, they stay with you, locked up in one corner of your heart, which stays with you, forever. I have this love for him which I will always bear, even when I die. I shall be buried with this love within my chest.”

The sun had finally set, leaving the dusk behind.

“You see, even the sun leaves his light behind, reminding us of its presence, marking its existence.” she came back to him, “and you are loved; you are known, by the ones whose lives you have touched; and they will bear this love for you in their heart forever. They will die with this love for you and take it to their grave with them.”

He could not believe the depth of the words coming from her. He was surprised.

“Will you remember me too?” he asked.

She smiled at his stupid question which answered his question for her.

She turned around to go.

The feeling of the futility of life did not completely go away from his heart but what made him comfortable was the fact that he will always be loved and remembered by the people who mean something to him.

He picked up the leaf and kept it in his pocket and walked back with her.

 
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Posted by on December 27, 2013 in short story, Uncategorized

 

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Look

Natasha you think you’re hurt,
Natasha look at me!
Natasha look in my eyes.
Natasha what do you see?

You’ll see my smile,
You’ll see my tears,
You’ll see what my heart bears.
You’ll see my heart,
You’ll see my soul,
You’ll see in me, your entire world.
You’ll see my days,
You’ll see my nights,
You’ll see yourself, as my guiding light.
You’ll see my weakness,
You’ll see my might,
You’ll see in me, my every fight.
You’ll see the moon,
You’ll see the sun,
You’ll see you and me, together as one.

You’ll see the world Natasha, that you’ve always wished for.
You’ll see yourself Natasha, the one that I had fallen for.

 
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Posted by on December 5, 2013 in poetry, Uncategorized

 

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Forbidden

As she lay on the bed, wrapped in the sheets and his arms, staring at the wall, she moved in, closer and felt his heart beating on her back. The thought of her husband haunted her for a moment, the guilt built up within her bosom but it all vanished with the kiss that she felt on the back of her neck. She could never have too much of him. She was madly in love with him, so much that she did not think of what the world would say if they found out about it, if her husband found out about it. It was not infidelity for her, she was faithful to him, she was in love.

She was a beautiful woman in her late twenties, married at the age of 25 by the will of her parents. She could never fall in love with the man. They were married and had a perfect life, living in a big house with ample of money to spend, which was provided at the cost of the husband’s absence in the city, which had gradually resulted in the same in her life. She had soon gotten sick of her life and felt lonely with no children and no friends. She spent most of her time shopping and trying to buy happiness through the materialistic things for she knew that there was no scope of love in her life anymore. She spent her day staring outside the window from her well furnished bedroom, looking at the park in front of their house; looking at the children playing and occasionally went out to sit and talk with them and brought them presents. It was the only thing that made her happy. Their marriage was like a crystal that shined so brightly from the outside but was hollow within. Her life was monotonous.

He was a writer. A young writer, who had just stepped into the world of fame. With his first best seller, he had marked his existence and built up his reputation from the ashes. He had worked very hard and was beginning to enjoy the luxuries of his occupation. He was often approached by his female fans and he knew an opportunity when he saw one, and he never missed a single one of them. He was known for his fantasies; his interests, towards women and in variety of fields. What made him stood out though, was his experience. His mind was too mature for those his age; his writings had a kind of maturity which made it very hard for someone to believe that someone at his age could write something like this. One could hardly relate him to his works. One would expect the writer to be a more experienced person, aged, even in looks. But he had always felt a hollow that he felt will always be there, no matter how much he enjoyed his riches, or his fame or even his opportunities with the ladies. He was often seen standing alone in the darkness of the night, sitting by the lake, thinking to himself. He felt incomplete.

“Do you remember the first time we met?”, he asked.

She nodded with a smile and pushed herself towards him as he grasped her tighter into his arms.

She was in the park and he was staring at her, thinking to himself how beautiful she was, how perfectly her hair shined in the sun and how deep her eyes were. She stared back at him and felt him looking into her soul. She felt so weak and empty, and so vulnerable to his eyes. He felt how complete he would be with her and she felt it too but she had turned her eyes away and in no time, he sat beside her, introducing himself to her. It was the starting of a beautiful relationship that was more than friendship and they both knew it. He talked to her about his works, his ideas, his inspirations and what he wanted from life. She talked to him about her life, her marriage and what she wanted from life. They felt themselves to be perfect for each other.

The meetings became more frequent and she started escaping from her monotonous life and took temporary refuges in his life of creativity. It made her feel good. He made her feel good. She completed him. He wrote about her, he wrote about love and the feeling between them grew more and more intense until finally, they both gave up to the passion that drowned them both. There were no secrets between them, but the sense of right and wrong had been blinded in the light of love. They knew they could lose everything, but nothing mattered to them; they needed nothing else if they had each other.

A sense of guilt rose within her again. “It’s wrong”, she thought and she turned around to tell him that they had to stop seeing each other.

She stared at his face for a while and then said, “I think I should go now.”

“Will I see you tomorrow?”, he asked with the innocence of a child and longing of a lover in his eyes.

His face mesmerized her again. She could never say no to him. She could not live without him. He was where she always found peace. She loved him.

Her heart overcame her mind and all the reasons that she had given herself for her to stop seeing him seemed meaningless now.

“Yes!”, she said with a smile and got up from the bed wrapped in the sheet.

His eyes followed her as she dressed and left with kiss on his forehead.

He closed his eyes and lay there in his bed with her memories.

 
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Posted by on November 28, 2013 in short story

 

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The Company

He stopped his car. It was in the middle of nowhere, but it was beautiful. It was a cliff and he could see the sun setting, turning red and even more red with the passing minutes. He walked to the edge of the cliff and looked down and realized how afraid he was of heights and shrunk back. It had been hours since his previous break from driving. He sat down and slid to the edge; his legs dangling in the infinity below. His heart was still racing.

“Yes, this is what I wanted, some peace.” He said to himself.

“Is it really?”, A voice came from beside him. He turned his face and saw someone sitting beside him, about his age, leaning on the support of his arms behind his body.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” He asked with curiosity.

“Yes you do. But you don’t know that.”

He was confused. But he felt familiar,strangely familiar. But he was sure he had not met him ever in his life. He shrugged the feeling.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you’re saying. I’m just not in the mood to talk right now. I was looking for some peace and I’m sorry to say, you’re disturbing my sunset.”

“You’re looking for a companion.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“I know you better than anybody else. Apparently, I know you better than yourself. I’ve been with you since the time you came to Earth.”

“You’ve been with me since I was born? Who are you?”, He grew furiously curious.

He smiled and said, “Okay let me ask you a question. When you got out of the car saying that this was what you wanted, who were you saying it to?”

“I was saying it to myself. Everybody talks to themselves.”

“Nobody talks to themselves. You talk to us. You, in particular, talk to me. I’m the one who has been with you your entire life.”

“And you want me to believe that?”

“Humans are a young race. I don’t expect you to understand the universe. The truths that you believe in are merely assumptions; and you live your life believing in those assumptions. Every single one of your kind, everyone of you has someone like me. Not just you.”

“So you’re like my guardian angel?”, he asked.

“You see? You’re making assumptions again.”, he paused, “when you were born, I got connected to you, bound to you; and since then, even after 22 years 5 months and 6 days, I still am. I am with you every single moment of your life, and experience everything with you.”

“Everything?”

“Everything. I can’t talk to you but you talk to me. Everything that you think you say to yourself, you actually say it to me. When you cry, I feel sad. I remember the feelings you felt when you fell in love, when you made love to her or when she broke your heart or when you tried to slit your veins. Who do you think convinced you not to do it? I cried and yelled at the top of my voice and begged you not to do it.”, he paused, his face grave, “I forgot I didn’t exist for you.”

He looked at him. Trying to understand.

“So, you’re me?”

“No. I’m not you. I’m someone else; something else. We are not humans. We are assigned one to each individual of your kind. It’s ironic though. I believe we are superior to you humans but I guess God loves you more. We are to live with you, we are bounded to you when you are born and we die with you. You are our world and we live in whatever condition that you live in and we cannot do anything to change it. You are our fate, and we don’t even exist to you. It is indeed very ironic.”

He shook his head.

“I know you don’t understand. This is just one of those things that your kind is too young to understand. But, you know, we have this one single opportunity given to us, of speaking to the one we’re bound to and we usually talk to you as a stranger on the street or a friend that you will never see again.”

He looked at his face.

“And that is why I seem so strangely familiar to you; because you know me. You’ve known me your entire life. I am almost like you, I have experienced the same things that you have and they changed me almost in the same way as they changed you. I am your counter-part.”

He looked up at the sky. The sunset was over. It was darker now. He could see Venus. He got up and walked to his car while the known stranger still sat there.

“Are you not going to come then?”

“I don’t have a choice. I’ll always be with you, even if you leave me here.”

The engine growled and he drove off. But an unknown feeling of satisfaction filled his heart and a smile lit his face because he knew now, that he will never feel lonely again, because he will never be alone; he never was.

 
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Posted by on October 10, 2013 in short story

 

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Poetry

Life has been long,
An extra two to a score,
I’ve been right, and been wrong,
And I know there will be more.

Who has it stopped though, from trying?
Which warrior is not afraid, of dying?
For the bird knows her early death is nigh’ing,
It does not stop her, not from flying.

We fly like the birds,
In the sky of possiblities,
We swim like the fishes,
In the sea of possibilites,
And in the fire of possibilties we burn,
Waiting like the moth, for our turn.

I write and write, and write what I feel,
For poetry, you need nothing, but zeal.
You need not a topic, nor the rythm divine,
If you have feelings in heart, your poem’s divine.

 
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Posted by on October 3, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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